Brian and I are in need of a "do over" on our parents of the year application so January can't come soon enough. When you ask parents who have children close together how they did it, you will get the response of "we survived." Survived. We thought we could handle having two 15 months apart, but we were slapped in the face by the hand of God and parenthood.
Naptime. This is the cause of so much of our demise as parents. I've actually looked through my hospital paperwork to see if I still had the receipt for Jack so I could give him back. I would have looked for Cameron's, but Lord knows I wouldn't have found where I buried that paperwork. Naptime is a battle that I am losing. Even when Brian and I are playing man-to-man defense, we SUCK at this. It never fails that the minute Cameron closes his eyes, Jack will inevitably start crying. Here's the point where I pick Jack up and ask, "Is this funny for you? We will return you." Doesn't usually phase him. The new low is flipping a coin for the crying kid. The loser takes the crying kid upstairs to suffer the punishment of thinking about all the fun stuff downstairs (a nap on the couch, a fridge, a laptop, etc). Trying to get a 16-month old to sleep is already a battle of wills. He's too young to bribe, to bore or to ignore. I have to stroll Cameron around in our house to get him to fall asleep. It usually ends with one arm pushing a 32-pound kid in a stroller and the other arm holding Jack. I've learned to tuck a bottle under my arm to feed Jack while pushing the stroller. It's not called multi-tasking. It's called a mother's desperation. A woman coined the term "multi-tasking" as a humorous alternative to her life with children.
Nighttime. This is the cause of our demise as human beings. Little kids are supposed to sleep something like 18-20 hours a day. Why does the six hours of open eyes have to be between the hours of 11pm and 5am? This is when children ruin your mental state. Must be cold. Blanket given. Must be hungry. Fed. Must have a dirty diaper. Diaper changed. Must be gassy. Burped. Still crying and the checklist has nothing else on it. What's worse is that we have a time limit to get Jack to quit crying. After 5 minutes, the wailing begins from Cameron in the room next door. Because I am breastfeeding I am the first line of attack. If I'm approaching 4 minutes, I just shove my boob in Jack's mouth regardless of the last feeding time. Probably not the best idea, but it's better than the 16 month old alternative. Brian and I feel the sleep deprivation. I tried to get back into bed one night only to have my husband push me out of the bed so he could search for Jack in the sheets. I was pissed. Do you know how hard it is to argue with someone who is asleep?
Mrs. Rodrigue...welcome to parenthood.
