There goes our play date

This picture looks like a sweet and innocent enough child but don't let those full cheeks fool you. My kid can be a bully. I took Cameron on a play date with some of my co-workers and their young children. Approximate ages - 6 months, 12 months, 18 months, 4 years. We walk in and my little angel outweighs all except the 4 year old. No one to borrow diapers from at this shin dig since size 3's fit Cameron like a thong. Here are some events to highlight why we won't be invited back anytime soon.

The Bully
He's used to kids older and bigger than him, but I put him on the floor and he started crawling to the nearest piece of furniture to pull himself up. He shuffles his way to the 18 month old little girl, who is so precious and quiet just sucking on her pacifier. Cameron also has a pacifier in his mouth so I'm thinking he's just trying to make connections and find some friends. Nope. He reaches over to her pacifier and just yanks with all his might. He wasn't making a trade. He just didn't want her to have one. You have got to be kidding me. I'm chuckling nervously trying to play it off, but I'm thinking, "Is my kid the bully of this play date?"

Snack Time
I put Cameron behind me to walk around another small table. I haven't had the eyes installed in the back of my head yet like every good parent, but I made an appointment after this. I look at Cameron who has his head cocked back. Um...why is juice running down his chin. There he is chugging down somebody else's sippy cup full of juice. Funny. My kid refuses to drink from a sippy cup from the comfort of his own home. Glad to see he's finally breaking out of his shell. To make matters worse my child has at least five goldfish in his mouth and four in his hand. Too bad we didn't bring goldfish. He's a bully who also eats lunches. Not good.

The Reign of Terror
Apparently Cameron does understand the phrase "kick him when he's down," but I wish he wouldn't. The 12 month old boy was getting his diaper changed on the floor. Cameron uses this prime time to use that kid's face as a stepping stool. As if 26 pounds of pressure wasn't enough, Cameron decides to try to make amends his own way. He shuffles up to this kid and leans in like he is going to give this little boy a hug and a kiss. I have my hopes up that he's going to have a moment to redeem himself and free me from the play date parent hall of shame. Nope. He licks the kid on the cheek. I can't be sure Cameron didn't bite him, but we'll just stick to licked.

The Last Hoorah
The 18 month old little girl is back as the target. She was playing with her mom's keys close to the door. My child sees keys and hightails it over to her because he likes the taste of cool metal in his mouth. He's speedy when he wants to be. He rips the keys right out of her hands and finds the fastest route to his mouth. I give the keys back, and he retaliates by grabbing a handful of sweet blond locks and pulling with all his might. I swatted my child so fast I could have killed a house fly if it had been on his hand. I think that's our cue to leave.

Sure, he was cranky because he woke up at 3am to see the Royal Wedding, but I'm pretty sure most tired babies cry or act sluggish...not unleash a Reign of Terror upon playmates.