This scene from the movie Caddyshack sums up my three days with the kids while Brian was in Canada...allow me to explain. For three days Jack's constipation was my focus. Why is it that I am begging this child to poop and celebrating when he does? In a few months, I'll need a gas mask and rubber gloves to clean that booty. Cameron, who must be starved for attention, decided to get in on the action. Bath time is usually a good time for keeping both kids calm. Cameron can splash around in the water, and Jack will lie on the rug and talk to us. Bath time is also a great time for spreading panic for their momma. As Cameron is splashing around and brushing his teeth (Yes, I let my kid brush his teeth in the tub. He also drinks the bath water. Get over it.) he creates his own jacuzzi by farting in the tub. He giggles. I giggle. Jack just stares at us. Enter Caddyshack. That wasn't just a fart. DOODY!!!! DOODY!!!! THERE IS DOODY FLOATING IN THE TUB! Panic commence. My son is still in the tub! SHIT. My son's toothbrush is still in the tub! Every bath toy we own is in the tub! My son's pacifier is in the tub! Did I mention there is DOODY in the tub? OH SHIT. I drain the tub then turn to grab Jack, but don't pick him up because I realize my hands have just been in doody water. I still am not sure why my first instinct was to grab Jack when clearly Cameron was the one sitting in the poo water. I go back and grab the pacifier and a couple toys. Why am I still not getting the kid? At this point Cameron then decides to sprawl out on his belly in whatever doody water still remains. (I was asking for that. Clearly my reasoning skills under pressure suck.) Cameron got two baths that night, and we are minus one pacifier. The toothbrush was Brian's, and I just put that back.
Kidding.
I bought another pacifier. :-)
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